Deborah Vlock – Author, blogger, kid-driver, thing-finder, you name it

Vlock brings her personal experience as the mother of two children with mental health challenges to a realistic, empathetic guide targeted at ensuring her parenting peers “don’t try taking this trip solo” and “feel stronger and better,” rather than isolated and overwhelmed…. Her advice feels both relatable and reliable, coming from personal experience—her own as well as that of other parents—and from mental health professionals. Parents in the same boat as she will find this a valuable addition to their self-care toolbox. (Nov.)

From “On Animals and Virtue”

She was an unlucky mare, an erstwhile school horse: sway-backed and tired and hungry for love. I was unlucky myself, and did not mind her ungainliness…

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From “An Anguished Choice To Help A Son With Mental Illness”

For years, [my son’s] death wish trumped everything. If he could not perform the act himself, then he wanted me to do it for him. It was the one and only sacrifice I could never make for him.

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From “The First Time With Charlotte: New York City, circa 1996”

Every one of our hook-ups, if you want to call them that, as alien and lovely as Victorian horsehair upholstery against bare legs.

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From “Angst Begets Art: On Finding Beauty In A Life Of Anxiety”

The riches we bequeath to our children can largely be reckoned in currencies of fear.

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From “Breasts are not a Requirement”

The first time I tried on a pair of falsies, I was 35 and built like a string bean.

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From “Small Change”

One night in the slow, hot crawl of late summer, our cat spontaneously combusted.

(nominated for the Pushcart Prize)

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EARLY MORNING SUNLIGHT FILTERS THROUGH BALSAM FIRS AND FERNS AT TWITCHELL LAKE - NARA - 554393 - Public Domain - Anne LaBastille, 1938-, Photographer (NARA record: 1422473)

From “I Was Mighty”

We grew up near the mountains and the woods. We knew from forests.

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From “Dentist of the Wild West”

Right while I’m getting my braces, and saliva I can’t swallow is pooling in the back of my mouth, Doc Hallowell tells me about square dancing.

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From “Benjy, Awake”

On a blossom-scented spring day, my son Benjy, almost eleven and off kilter, begged me to help him kill himself.

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From ”There Be Mental Illness Here”

Ten years ago, things were already going steeply downhill but I was not prepared to admit it.

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From “Dialogue”

Ute Schmidt’s first lesson, upon arriving in Boston, is that Americans talk fast and laugh at things that are not funny.

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The Latest from Deborah at Psychology Today

Stuff Slips Through the Cracks
Even your grandma forgot to pack Kleenex and hard candies in her purse once or twice when she knew you were gonna need them. ... Read More
Published on: 2018-09-27
Has a Chronic Illness in the Family Made You Unreliable?
Tired of beating yourself up over bailing out of commitments? It's OK to say no from the get-go. ... Read More
Published on: 2018-09-13
In Disability-Land, Friendships Can Turn Toxic
For parents of complex kids, unsolicited criticism can be particularly painful--especially when it comes from people we respect. ... Read More
Published on: 2015-07-19
Overprotective Parenting Doesn't Work
As it turns out, negotiating real-life, reasonable risk can be a very good thing for kids. It can teach them that they have power in this world--or someday will. That they’re competent. And that sometimes, if you really really want something to happen, you have to MAKE it happen, without mom or dad’ ... Read More
Published on: 2015-02-02
Genetic Testing for Kids With Mental Health Disorders?
If medical professionals are going to treat your heart disease, or your teen's bipolar disorder, with medications that won’t help and may even hurt, then they're not doing the job they signed up for. That's where genotyping can help. ... Read More
Published on: 2014-11-16

Parenting Children with Mental Health Challenges: A Guide to Life with Emotionally Complex Kids

Publishers Weekly reviews Parenting Children with Mental Health Challenges

From “On Animals and Virtue”

From “An Anguished Choice To Help A Son With Mental Illness”

From “The First Time With Charlotte: New York City, circa 1996”

From “Angst Begets Art: On Finding Beauty In A Life Of Anxiety”

From “Breasts are not a Requirement”

From “Small Change”

From “I Was Mighty”

From “Dentist of the Wild West”

From “Benjy, Awake”

From ”There Be Mental Illness Here”

From “Dialogue”

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The Latest from Deborah at Psychology Today

Goodreads reviews for Parenting Children with Mental Health Challenges